Is It OK to Wait for Motivation to Strike? Sometimes... Here's Why

This blog post has a loaded title. 

I've said time and time again, and stand strongly behind the fact that you can't wait for motivation to hit you in order to make changes in your life. Why? Because we're humans with emotions, and when we let motivation (an emotion) drive us, instead of discipline and habits, we could be waiting around for a looooong damn time. 

But sometimes we just feel unmotivated, ya dig?

And to put the cherry on top of not feeling up to the challenge, when we're unmotivated, we stress about being unmotivated.

It's like a vicious cycle of: don't feel like doing the thing, so you don't do the thing, but then feel bad about not doing the thing.

Can you relate?

Let's sit down and have a little story time, shall we? Then, don't worry — we'll also get into some practical tips about motivation and how you can light a fire under your bum to get you going again. 

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STORY TIME

First, let me let you in on a little secret: NO ONE feels motivated 100% of the time. Not Beyonce, not the Queen, not the fitness/business/whoever idols you have. 

Every single one of us feels unmotivated at some point — sometimes even on a daily basis. 

That's why it's important to create solid habits that push us THROUGH the times we're not feeling motivated, but more on the logistics/advice/tips later. 

Six-ish weeks ago, I decided to take a break from social media. 

Good for my business? Eh, probably not.
Good for my productivity? Probably.
Good for my sanity? At the time, yes.

I've gone through a lot of fear gremlins in my time away from social media, as this is the longest break I've ever taken since I started my business back in 2014. "Everyone's going to forget about you. You'll become irrelevant. Taking a break? Psh, what kind of leader are you?"

And while some of those things may be true, I know that when I'm ready to return, I will. 

But the funny thing is, I haven't felt a strong pull to return to creating content (on social media, anyway. I'm definitely feeling the writing itch - which is why I'm here with you right now!)

Which has led me to ask the question: "Am I just lazy? Unmotivated? Should I give up on my business/social media/creating content altogether?"

And perhaps the question that I've been thinking about more than anything...

WILL I EVER GET MY MOTIVATION AND DRIVE BACK?

Thankfully, If experience tells me anything, the answer is yes.

There have been a few times in my life when I haven't felt 'motivated' for longer periods of time. (I'm not talking about the daily "I don't feel like going to the gym waaah")... I'm talking about multiple weeks where I'm just like... MEH. I DON'T WANNAAAA.

 ^ Actual footage of me the first 6 months I lived in Canada.

But every single time I've let myself rid the wave of being unmotivated, my motivation ultimately came back and I was ready to go full-force again. 

When I moved to Canada, it took me 6 MONTHS to get back into my groove with working out again. That doesn't mean I stopped altogether — I wasn't really feeling it, but the discipline and habits I created led me to do it anyway.

So, if you're in a period right now where you feel MEH and like you're never going to get back into the groove with whatever used to excite you/motivate you, here are some tips that have been helping me:

Tips for Long Periods of Not Feeling Motivated

1. Don't beat yourself up / celebrate your success in other areas. 

As I mentioned before, NO ONE feels motivated 100% of the time. And that is totally OK. 

Life comes in seasons: some seasons we're laser focused, and others — we're focused on other things. 

Look at the big picture: maybe your motivation for working out has faded, but you're in a really busy season at work. Celebrate your success there instead of looking at what's lacking in your life! Or maybe you're not feeling motivated to create blogs or podcasts, but you've started a new job that you love and just need to find a groove with your new schedule. 

Instead of feeling GUILTY on top of the fact that you're not feeling motivated, take a step back and realize that this too shall pass, my dear grasshoppa. 

2. Evaluate why this thing you're avoiding is meaningful to you. 

Having a strong, convicting WHY behind everything you do in your life makes all the difference.

WHY did you start doing the thing that you're unmotivated to do (right now) in the first place? 

Most people start out with a strong WHY, but when hardships come up and life gets crazy, we forget the meaning behind why we're doing what we're doing. 

If you're lacking motivation to work out: WHY do you work out in the first place? Is it to help you feel strong and confident? Does it help you get rid of your anxiety and depression? Do you want to be healthier for your kids, friends, family, etc.? Think back to why you started in the first place, and channel your energy into that.

I recommend even writing a quick mission statement that you can silently (or verbally) repeat to yourself when you're tempted to skip another workout. For example: "Every time I move my body, it brings me one step closer to who I want to become: a stronger, happier person for myself and my family." Then get your booty movin. BOOM.

And sometimes, the reason you started isn't the same reason you keep going — so keep that in mind, too. 

For example, if you originally started working out to lose 100 pounds and you've lost it, it's time to set a new WHY that's meaningful to you to re-gain that sense of purpose and motivation in your workouts. 

3. When you commit, you're signing up to eat a sh*t sandwich.

BEAR WITH ME HERE. 

I learned about the concept of the shit sandwich, I'm pretty sure through The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, but most vividly remember it through Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic (both highly recommended!)

Here's what a shit sandwich is: when you commit to doing something (starting a business, getting in shape, getting married, starting a family), they all start off fun and exciting and new and fresh. But inevitably, hardships will come up that will make you question whether or not this is right for you. That's why, when you sign up for *said thing*, you're committing to the good AND bad (in sickness and in health, amen), and you're willing to eat the shit sandwich every day for the things you love the most.

I'll let Liz Gilbert explain it more eloquently: 

“What’s your favorite flavor of shit sandwich?” What Manson means is that every single pursuit—no matter how wonderful and exciting and glamorous it may initially seem—comes with its own brand of shit sandwich, its own lousy side effects. As Manson writes with profound wisdom: “Everything sucks, some of the time.” You just have to decide what sort of suckage you’re willing to deal with. So the question is not so much “What are you passionate about?” The question is “What are you passionate enough about that you can endure the most disagreeable aspects of the work?” Manson explains it this way: “If you want to be a professional artist, but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands, of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer, but can’t stand the eighty-hour workweeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.” Because if you love and want something enough—whatever it is—then you don’t really mind eating the shit sandwich that comes with it.” 

CAN I JUST SCREAM THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS?!?!?!? Ugh. Such gold. 

So, what's the 'shit sandwich' in what you committed to doing?

For getting in shape, the shit sandwich may be making it to the gym, prepping your food, going to bed earlier instead of partying, etc. (although social media would have you believe you can be ripped and shredded in 3 easy minutes with THIS SPECIAL UNICORN DIET!!!!)

For starting a business, it can be creating content (sitting down to write a blog ain't easy, y'all), running social media, being a responsible human and managing your finances, filling taxes, the 'unsexy' side of running a business (although social media wants you to think it's all about drinking mai tais on the beach)

4. DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM.

I stole this quote from my boy Jocko Willink, an ex Navy Seal (he has a podcast if you're interested). He says that the more discipline you create in your life, the more freedom you ultimately have.

I know, it sounds counter-intuitive, but hear me out:

There are probably some things in your life that you know will help you reach your goals, that you don't necessarily *want* to do (hello, shit sandwich). That could be working out, writing a blog, spending time with someone, making a phone call, having a meeting, anything you've been putting off. 

Now let's say that instead of writing it on your to-do list for the 925398th day in a row, you actually scheduled it in for tomorrow:

Work out: 7 am
Blog post: 8 am

And low and behold, the two things that have been on your to-do list for weeks now are DONE.

Now you actually have FREE time tomorrow that you can enjoy without guilt.

Or let's say you want to get better control of your finances, so you decide to create a budget (this is a big one!!!). Sure, at first it may feel restricting when you realize you can't get your Mocha Frappa Latte Cappuccino at Starbucks today, but it will feel damn good when you've saved $5/day, $35/week, $140/month, and in 6 months, you're lying on the beach sipping a margarita thanks to all the money you've saved from your budget.

So while it may seem restrictive to schedule out your daily activities, create a budget, track your workouts — these are the disciplined habits that actually create freedom in our lives. It's just a matter of delaying the instant gratification that we all know and love, in favor of a longer-term, more favorable outcome (hello, hot bod & vacation!)

You got this, boo.

Motivation will come and go. You can't rely on motivation to keep you going through the tough parts of your life — you must create strong, disciplined habits for that. 

But if you're in a stage of feeling unmotivated, understand that it's NORMAL, you are HUMAN and by using the tips above, you'll be back on your A-game in no time, sista!

And most importantly, everything you do (even the things you love the most) come along with a nice, hearty, shit sandwich. 

What are you willing to eat a shit sandwich for?  :)

Let me know in the comments below: have you ever felt unmotivated for longer periods of time? How'd you come out of it? Share your tips so we can all be inspired to get the ball rollin' again!

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Scared to Try a New Gym? CHASE WHAT MAKES YOU AFRAID.

Hey lovely!

Last week on Instagram, I posted a story about trying out a new gym.

*Side note: I upload IG stories about mindset and also write mini daily blog-type posts on my feed, so make sure to follow along if you're not already! You can also listen to this story in my free private Facebook group I did a live video about it. Request to join here :)

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Since I moved to Canada at the end of last year, I've been trying my best to put myself out there and try new things. 

I've tried dance classes/workshops, joined a regular gym, hired a personal trainer, and most recently tried classes at a local Crossfit gym. 

But here's a little secret: all of these things have scared the poo out of me.

You know the feeling you get in your stomach when you're about to try something new for the first time? Maybe it's a job interview, a new workout class, going on a date, and you feel like there's a 70% chance you may actually poo your pants.... 

That's exactly how I felt. 

Because although I have experience as a trainer and I pretty much know what I'm doing, it still scares the bejesus out of me to try new things. 

I STILL get butterflies when I walk into a new gym to try a class for the first time. Or when I try a fitness workshop. Or when I go to a dance class. 

But here's what I've learned over the years:

You have to run after that feeling of fear, anxiety and nervousness like your life depends on it. 

You have to CHASE what makes you feel afraid, because that's how you grow. 

As humans, we naturally make up the worst possible outcome of any situation in our minds ahead of time. "What if I fall on my face during the workout?" "What if the guy I'm going on a date with doesn't like me?" "What if I don't get the job?" with the overarching theme of all of these being, "What if I make a fool of or embarrass myself?"

But when you actually envision living out those outcomes... it's really NOT that bad. If you fall on your face, people will forget about it probably 10 minutes after it happens. If the guy doesn't like you, good — someone better will. If you don't get the job, good — there's a better one meant for you. 

Of course trying new things is ALWAYS going to feel uncomfortable, even if you play the worst-case-scenario-ain't-that-bad game... so here's what I like to do to combat my nerves and ease my anxiety:

1. SCHEDULE THE THING. Put yourself on the hook. Commit to showing up to the class, applying for a job/scheduling the interview, going on the date. And no matter how many times your brain wants to back out of it or makes up any possible excuse for you not to go, GO ANYWAY.

2. STAY BUSY. Of course you're going to feel more nervous if you sit around and think about it for 5 days! Try to schedule whatever you're trying out as soon as possible, so you're able to get it over with and ease your anxiety about it. However, if it takes a few days, then keep yourself busy by doing things you enjoy, rather than focusing on/stressing about it all day long.

3. BREATHE. You're going to feel nervous driving there. That's totally normal. Remember to take slowwww, deeeeep breaths (5 second inhales, 5 second exhales). Play music if that helps you calm down. Remember, YOU WILL LIVE TO TELL THE STORY. It is OK :)

4. REAP THE REWARDS OF DOING WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO! Go grab a coffee, meet up with a friend, do something to celebrate the fact that YOU ARE A BADASS because you actually DID THE THING!!!! So many people SAY they want to do things, but never actually get around to them because fear gets in the way. So whether you liked the gym class/date/whatever or not, you at least tried it, which is something to celebrate.

Remember, everything worth living for is on the other side of our comfort zone.

It may feel more comfortable to stay in your little bubble at this exact moment, but you don't want to be looking back at your life a year from now (or when you're 85 reflecting in your rocking chair), and say, "MAN. What would my life be like right now had I tried [that thing]?"

Because who knows what will come from trying a new gym, interviewing for a new job, going on a date... you could meet your best friend, get in the best shape of your life, land the job of your dreams, and live an awesome freakin' life.

Or I guess you could just stay home and hope for those things because it feels more comfortable. ;)

Moral of the story: CHASE that uncomfortable feeling. The one where your stomach is twisting and turning, you feel nervous (like you may poo your pants), you want to make up 103858 excuses not to go... because when you're able to push outside your comfort zone, you're one step closer to living a happier, more exciting, joyful, amazing freakin' life.

GET OUT THERE AND #GSD my love!

xo

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Tell me: what's something you've always wanted to try but haven't found the courage to yet? DM me on Instagram or comment below and let's chat about it!

How to Start LOVING Mondays Again

Hey, gorgeous!

IT'S MONDAY — which means it's my favorite day of the week!

I know that's quite the opposite of most people, and to be honest, it used to be the same for me.

I used to HATE Mondays.

Some mornings before work, my alarm would go off and I'd snooze it 15 times and just lay there and cry. Partly because my work environment was toxic (aka my boss was nuts), but also because I wondered:

"Is this it? Is this all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?"

Thankfully, the answer was NO

Once I decided that I wanted to create a life of my dreams, I slowly but surely started taking steps in that direction.
 

 Photo by   Katelynn Carlson   

Photo by Katelynn Carlson 

I got my personal training certification and started training clients & teaching group exercise. I made a 6-month 'plan of action' to save up and leave my job. I left my job, then took an internship at one of the best gyms in the world (where I met my husband — added bonus hehe). I took my business all online, and did freelance work to help support me. 

I'm sharing this with you today because I want to remind you that YOU are in control of your life.

There will never be a 'perfect' time or opportunity. You'll never have enough money, enough time, or enough balls to do the thing you want to do. 

Heck, if I waited until I had enough money or 'was ready enough' to leave my full-time job in 2015, I would still be there. 

But I decided that I didn't want to look back at my 20s when I'm in my rocking chair, sipping coffee with almond milk on my patio when I'm 80 #habits lol, and think to myself, 

"What if I would've tried that? How would my life be different?"

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SO MANY PEOPLE ask me how I left my job, or how I'm able to work from home and move around all the time. People assume that I'm just 'lucky' or that I have some sugar daddy supporting me so that I can write blogs and drink kombucha and do Instagram stories all day. 

It's the opposite, actually.

I've had to work hard for EVERY single thing I want. 

And here's the thing: YOU CAN TOO.

Even if it seems all the odds are stacked against you, even if your family thinks you're nuts, even if you have highs so high and lows so low that it makes you question your own sanity.

You have to decide that you WANT to live a life beyond your wildest dreams, and then take steps to make that happen.

They can be the babiest of baby steps, or you can jump ship and create the net to catch you on the way down.

Whatever you choose, I beg you to realize that you only have ONE LIFE and that life is so. short. 

Don't waste anymore time & procrastinate the things you really want to be doing right now.

And whatever you need, I'm always here to support you on your journey.

Decide. Believe. Commit. << that's all you need. 

NOW START LOVING YOUR MONDAYS, DANGIT.

Oh and if you want inspo like this sent straight to your inbox (plus healthy tips and tricks I don't share anywhere else!) sign up for my VIP email list

Sending you lots of love this week!xo,

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STOP Bargaining with Yourself & Choose the Hard Thing

If you'd rather listen to this post, check it out in this podcast episode!

Hey love!

Today I want to offer you a challenge. A little kick in the pants. A little nudge of tough love. A little butt slap that says, "GET OUT THERE AND PLAY THE GAME SISTA!!!"

Throughout our day, most of the things are do are on autopilot. We drive the same ways to work. We do the same exercises in the gym. We do what's necessary to get by at work. Take an inventory of the things you do every day, and you'll probably realize that you're doing most of those out of comfortability and convenience. 

But what if you took the initiative to DO THE HARD THING instead?

The choice that's uncomfortable, the one that doesn't necessary produce immediate results?

I've been trying to live by this in my life every. single. day. Whenever I find myself trying to rationalize out of the 'harder' choice, I challenge myself to do the hard thing instead.

 I hate ab roll outs because they hurt and suck, but here's me.... DOIN IT ANYWAY.

I hate ab roll outs because they hurt and suck, but here's me.... DOIN IT ANYWAY.

For example: 

When I'm laying in bed in the morning, I have the choice to snooze my alarm or get up and go to the gym. The rationalizing thoughts start to run through my mind, "You could sleep in! You've already been to the gym 4 days this week, this can be a rest day. Getting more sleep will help me make better food choices later."

Here's the tricky thing about the way we bargain with ourselves: our excuses are actually valid sometimes. 

I had already gone to the gym 4 times that week. I could've used a rest day. More sleep does help me make better food choices.

But I committed to myself the night before that I was going to go to the gym in the morning, so I did the hard thing: I chose the gym despite all of my powerfully convincing and convenient excuses. 

That means opting for LONG term results versus fleeting, temporary satisfaction.

Because what makes you comfortable right now probably won't change your life much. 

You're USED to sleeping in. You're USED to eating the same foods that aren't getting you the body you want. You're USED to settling for less than you know, deep down in your heart, you deserve. You're USED to doing all the things that you've always done, which have led you exactly to where you are right now.

So why not do something different?

Why not choose the HARD thing for a while, and watch how drastically changed your life is a month, 6 months and a year from now?

Choose the workout that pushes you out of your comfort zone. 

Choose to go on the date, even though "you're not ready to date yet. you'd rather stay in your PJs and watch someone else find love on the Bachelor."

Choose to start that blog TODAY, instead of bargaining with yourself that "you'll start when you're ready."

Choose to ask for a raise.

Choose to stand up for yourself when you're being treated unfairly. 

You've got nothin' to lose... and everything to gain

QUIT bargaining with yourself. Quit playing small. Start showing up, start making the hard choice. And report back to me with how freakin' awesome your life is after you start doing this consistently.

xo

Julie

P.S. One of the best quotes I've EVER heard about making progress in the gym,

"Keep doing things you suck at. Once you're good at them, add more things you suck at. Rinse and repeat."

BOOM. GENIUS. 

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It's totally free! Get it here

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME.

Good morning, my beautiful friend!

Every morning, I write morning pages, which is pretty much just 3 pages of freehand writing I use to get all of my thoughts out of my head and on to paper. I do this every morning, and it helps take ALL those crazy thoughts I have about my goals, what I have to do that day, and helps create the space in my brain to focus on other important things vs. trying to remember my 90-mile-long to-do list.

Today, I was reflecting on how LONG it takes for some things we want to come to fruition.

The saying is true: GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME.

  Photo taken by Toronto-based photographer  Amin

Photo taken by Toronto-based photographer Amin

Things that are worth having genuinely DO take time: our dream body, career, relationship. It takes hard work and effort.

But when we're so focused on the outcome — "I won't be happy until I get to X goal" — it makes for a miserable ride along the way.

It's like knowing you have to go on a road trip across the country to get to your fave place in the world, California. But instead of driving a reliable car, downloading a bomb playlist, riding with the windows down, stopping to enjoy the sights along the way... you CHOOSE to drive your brother's shitty 2004 Honda Civic that breaks down every 100 miles, whose radio doesn't work, and instead of stopping to stay at hotels and do some sightseeing, you're just going to power through, pull 3 all nighters, get cracked out on coffee and suffer through until you finally reach the promised land of Santa Monica.

Knowing that your journey is a long one, don't make it any harder on yourself than it has to be.

ENJOY the ride. Let loose. Live a little. Have some freakin' fun, why don't ya?!

In terms of fitness & health:

Even if you're not where you want to be right now, enjoy your body & the process NOW. Take classes or do workouts you love. Eat in a way that makes you feel amazing — taking the time to cook and prepare your food so it tastes delicious. Celebrate your body by wearing what you want (i.e. a bathing suit) with no shame and don't just wait around til you feel 'good enough.'

Your dream body will come only as a result of loving, taking care of, and being kind to the one you have right now.

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In terms of your dream career:

Even if you're not making stupids amounts of money or doing what your soul feels called to do for a living right now, be grateful for all that you DO have. If you have a roof over your head, meals to eat and the means to read this right now... you're doing better than 90% of the world.

Plus, you're lucky to have ANY JOB in general. And if you truly don't like the job you're in, start taking steps to change that. Start a blog. Intern somewhere at night. Get the certification you need or go back to school on the side. THAT'S enjoying the process and being a part of actively creating the career of your dreams.

When I worked at my 9-5 advertising job, I was teaching group exercise classes on the side, then decided to get my personal training certification, which led to training clients, which led to me being able to leave my full-time job, which led to me being able to do this all online now. But had I just sat there and thought "woe is me... I hate my job... this is it for me." and didn't take steps to be an active creator of my future, I WOULD NOT BE WHERE I AM TODAY, and I certainly would not be continuing to build my dream career on a daily basis.

You just need a little courage. Courage builds confidence and trust, so every time you push the boundaries a bit on what you *think* you're capable of, you'll learn to trust yourself to take even bigger risks. Start small (or start big) but just START.

*side note of love* don't feed yourself the BS of "I don't know where to start" — you totally do. Don't let fear stop you. Take a baby step. What's one thing you can do TODAY that moves the needle in a positive direction? DO THAT.

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In terms of your dream relationship:

Even if you're single as a Pringle right now, enjoy yourself. I was single for 3. YEARS. before I met Mark. But that doesn't mean I was sitting in my room waiting for him to come knock down my door (which would have been near impossible because the chances of him randomly finding my apartment in Orlando from Canada is slim.... lol)

While I was single, I took the time to discover who I truly was, without a relationship defining me — as I let it with so many of my past boyfriends. I went on dates and called them "MANventures" (shout out to Jenn — this was our inside joke HA), I discovered hobbies I truly loved (teaching group ex. classes, becoming a personal trainer), reading books and listening to podcasts to improve my career and myself as a human.

Ultimately, when the timing was right — my hobbies, my career, my work in personal development — all aligned when I took a chance to intern at Strength Camp, which *you know the ending* led me to meet and marry the love of my life! Now I live in a totally different country (talk about a curve ball I never would've anticipated in my wildest dreams!), we're about to move into a new place together, and we're creating our dream life TOGETHER.

But that's all because I spent the time to truly figure out who I was, what I wanted, and enjoyed myself along the way.

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If you're interested, you can search Mark on my blog and there are plenty of posts about our moves/journey as a couple.

And I continue to enjoy myself (as best as I can) in ALL areas of my life today — even if they're not perfect — because WHY THE HECK NOT???!

Sure, these things take time. But what's the rush?

I've learned that the reason that our dreams don't manifest over night is because we have to become the person that's ready to handle that level of success.

For example, you say you want to win the lottery... but imagine you won $50 million tomorrow. Would you be the type of personal that's financially responsible enough to win that money and — more importantly — make it last? (so many of the winners just poo that money away. sad.)

Or say you want your dream boo to come into your life... what type of person are you being right now? Is your house cluttered with junk, or would you be proud to invite someone over? Are you carrying around emotional baggage from past relationships, or have you spent time working through all your old junk so that you don't carry that into a new relationship? Are you figuring out who you are individually so that when you meet him, you guys can become PARTNERS instead of searching for someone to fill a void that only *you* can fill?

These things take time, but they are so worth it.

While you're waiting patiently, become the person you want to be.

Because it's not about the outcome, it's about WHO YOU BECOME in the process of reaching that goal.

Always be a work in progress and never settle!

LOTS OF LOVE & HAPPINESS! xo,

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GET MY BRAND NEW, TOTALLY FREE E-BOOK! 

If you liked this post, you'll love my the BRAND NEW e-book I just created: Fitness Is An Inside Job (5 Mindset & Habit Shifts You Need to Make RIGHT NOW to Radically Change Your Life.) It teaches you how to go from KNOWING what to do, to ACTUALLY doing it.

It's totally free! Get it here


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