How to Overcome Negative Thoughts (and become the HAPPIEST person you know!)

GOOOOOD TUESDAY AFTERNOON!

Today I want to chat with you about something that has been a game-changer for me: the importance of positive self talk.

I don't know about you, but I used to be a negative nancy.

And probably not in the way you're thinking - I was a negative nancy to myself. Meaning I wasn't the "OMG I hate everything and everyone, I'm going to cut my bangs and be emo and listen to goth music." (no judgment if that's you hehe)

Rather, I was more of a worry-about-everything, always-need-to-be-perfect, super-hard-on-myself kind of negative nancy.

What's funny is that I didn't even realize this was being negative.

I just thought "I'm a perfectionist hehe. Look at me go! Here I am again, trying to be perfect!"

Which appears like I'm winning, positive and super happy all the time to everyone else around me, but inside I was dying a slow death of judgment, criticism and lack.

"If you could just lose more weight...." "Try harder!!!" "Why are you wasting your time as a fitness coach when there are 90239 prettier/more fit girls than you?"

Oh and the worst was if I had my day planned out and ONE small thing went awry.... then it was go-into-overboard stress time. I'd spend the rest of the day being anxious, feeling unworthy, and feeling like I was trying so hard but spinning my wheels in circles.

Now here's the thing: I still have bad mental days now.

Days where I look in the mirror and think "eh, could be better." Or "Yeah, maybe you should get a little more done and spend like 3 less hours browsing social media, maybe?"

But there are two things that have changed: my ability to snap out of it, and my perspective.

how-to-become-more-positive


Here's what I mean, and how you can change the habits of the negative self talk in your life:

1. Self awareness

The first step is realizing that you are a negative person. Trust me, we all are at certain points - so there is no judgment here! But if you find yourself feeling like poo when things don't go your way, or you look in the mirror/step on the scale and it ruins the rest of the day for you.... STOP. Self awareness is key here, because until you become self aware enough to recognize the things you tell yourself over and over and over again, you can't change.

2. Replace the negative with a positive

So once you've realized you said something negative about yourself, your circumstances, or someone else - great! You're making progress (so many of us don't even realize we do this, so you're already a step ahead of the game). Now you can't just "get rid of" thoughts... you have to replace them with something else. As much as I wish sometimes I could turn off all my thoughts, probably not likely. Instead, replace the negative thought with a positive. Here are some examples:

- Negative: *steps on scale* "WHATTT? I've worked so hard and haven't lost/gained weight!! Ugh this is so frustrating. I am worthless."
- Positive: "My value and worth is not based on numbers. I am more than my weight on the scale."

- Negative: "Wtf omg so much traffic this is so annoying ahhh kill me someone take me out of my miserrryyyy." *honks and flips 3 people off*
- Positive: "Welp, stressing about it isn't going to make the traffic move any faster. Let me turn on a podcast I enjoy or dance in my car to some of my fav music and enjoy this hour commute instead of being miserable for an hour."

3. Be patient

It's going to take time and effort to change the way you think.

You've probably been stuck in the same thought patterns for 20, 30, maybe even 40+ years... so you can't expect them to change overnight.

But by being mindful, self aware, and making an effort to change - soon you'll realize you're much happier, things don't really bug you anymore, and life is fun again.

Life is good & life is so, so short. Let's enjoy it!

:)

xoxo

Julie

Right now, my heart is set on helping women who want freedom from food obsession, tracking obsessively, jumping from diet to diet, only eating clean foods, etc. If you want to escape the "diet" mentality for good and see great results almost effortlessly, email me

When Life Doesn't Go Exactly As You Planned

Below is an excerpt from my weekly newsletter, which you can sign up for here. 

January 1, 2017.

The day I realized that no matter how much I plan or prepare, how many pretty Kate Spade planners I can fill with dreams and goals and aspirations, how many hours I spend stressing or worrying or trying to force things into existence...

Life doesn't always turn out the way I expect it to.

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Before I get into today's email, I want you to be aware of some changes that are goin' on around here. From here on out, I'll be sending you a weekly newsletter with alllll the things -- from the latest in fitness and nutrition, to business, to recipes, to relationships, things I'm going through, lessons I've learned... you know the deal.

I genuinely believe my role on this earth is bigger than JUST fitness, and for a while I've tried to pigeon-hole myself into ONE box.

Don't worry - I'm still doing online coaching. :) *Reply to this email or click the link if you're interested!

BUT this newsletter will give you a little insight into what's going on in my life - with fitness and beyond. If you're interested, I hope you'll stick around. If not, no hard feelings. <3

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Back to my story...

January 1, 2017.

My boyfriend and I were traveling back to the US after spending the holidays in Canada with his family (he's from Toronto).

It seemed like any other day... we woke up bright and early, headed to the airport to make our 9:20 a.m. flight, drank lots of coffee to wake up as per usual.

Except this day was different.

We were making our way through customs, when my boyfriend was stopped and sent to secondary customs because of an outdated work visa.

"Meet me over there by the Christmas tree," he said. "I'll be out in a second."

Without really giving it a second thought, I headed over and waited by the Christmas tree.

After about 10 minutes of waiting, something didn't feel right.

Where was he? What was going on?

He was taken into a back area with no windows, so I couldn't see where he was.

Our flight left the gate at 9:20 a.m.

It was 8:45.

"I'll wait til 8:50," I told myself.

8:50 comes... 8:55... 9:00...

Pretty soon, I started to panic. Do I leave? Will he need my help? Should I just board the flight and hope he comes along when he's done? Frantically, I tried to dial my mom. His mom. His sister. His brother. ANYONE... and no one was answering.

Finally, a small woman with blonde hair greets me at the Christmas tree.

"Hi, are you with Mark?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "You should go along. He probably won't be joining you on the flight today."
Me: "What's going on? Can you tell me anything?"
Her: "No, I'm just the communicator. I'm not sure."
Me: "Well can I see him?"
Her: "No, sorry honey. Go along."
Me: *immediately starts bawling* lol #dramatic, but at the time I was so scared/confused/it felt like my world was ending

Hanging on to the hopeful 'probably' included in her sentence, I boarded the plane in hopes that Mark would magically show up in the seat next to me, we would fly back to St. Pete, and all would be well in the world....

We'd move into our new place the following week, like we had planned.

I'd accept a brand new position at the company we work for, like we had planned.

We'd stay in St. Pete for the next year, building our brand new business that we just started together, like we had planned.

We'd make videos, create amazing content, and continue to build the life of our dreams together until it was time for him to head off to firefighting school in the Spring, like we had planned.

Well.... Mark didn't make it on the plane back to St. Pete that day.

We didn't move into our new apartment.

I didn't accept the new position.

In an instant, everything had changed.

Everything I had PLANNED to happen had seemingly crumbled to pieces around me.

Fear immediately set in as I thought to myself, "Where am I going to stay?! When are we going to be together again? What happens now if he's Canadian and I'm American?"

And of course I felt the intense pain of being separated from someone - my best friend - who I've spent nearly every day with for the past year.

My world was broken in an instant....

But my world was also rebuilt in the same instant.

You see, I believe NOTHING... and I mean NOTHING is ever short of a miracle,

and that life happens FOR you, rather than TO you.

Let's say Mark had made it back on the plane with me that day and everything in our lives had continued along as "planned."

We probably would've gone home, taken a nap, gotten dinner at our favorite local spot... and everything would've just been more of the same.

Same habits. Same routines. Same schedules.

Honestly, you probably wouldn't even be receiving this email right now because I wouldn't feel the need to share my pain and experiences, because everything would be happy-skippy-joy-joy.

You see, when Mark was here, we were happy.

I was so much happier than I have been in a REALLY long time.

But that's the thing.... we were happy. We were comfortable.

I know, and God knew, that we both needed something that would radically shift us out of our comfort zones.

Did it suck as it was happening? Yes.

Does it still suck when I think about not being with him for now? Yes.

But deep in my heart of hearts, I know that this is the greatest thing that's happened in my life so far.

In the most painful yet transformative way, I needed Mark to be abruptly taken away from me to show me that I was playing it small.

I was playing the game and making progress, but not in the way I knew I was capable of.

I was resting on my laurels, enjoying my comfortable life here in St. Pete, watching my deep sense of purpose slip farther and farther away from me with each day that passed.

So what does this mean?

Honestly, I'm still figuring out the logistics.

BUT I do know one thing for sure....

That this is the beginning of the most incredible journey that I'll ever embark on. That everything is about to change my life in the way I've always hoped and dreamed for.

No one promised it would be easy.

Innately we hope everything will go according to OUR plan... but what if sticking to OUR plan is what's preventing us from achieving the bigger and better 'thing' that's out there for us?

I'm not sure what's to come, but I do know this:

Because of this experience, I am changed.

I am stronger.

I am brave.

And I am confident that because of the space that was created in SO many areas of my life, this allows the space for miracles to happen in ways I never could've imagined.

So when life doesn't go as YOU planned....

Ask yourself this:

What if it could turn out EVEN BETTER than YOU had planned?

Believe that it will....

because it will.

Talk to you soon,

xo

Julie


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