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I woke up this lovely Tuesday in the beautiful land of Canada. If you read my email from last week, you'll understand the situation. My plan is to spend this week sorting things out and just enjoying my time here.
Side note: you know what's funny?
I came here with the intention of (obviously seeing Mark), but more so to "figure things out."
What are we going to do with our lives? Is he coming back to America or am I moving to Canada? WTF ARE WE DOING? LOL.
I needed answers, dangit!
But I realized quickly once I got here... I really don't care about those answers right now.
What I care about it spending time with the person I love.
It's funny how once you haven't been with someone for a period of time, it shows you the truth of your relationship: you either really miss them, or you're like 'eh, I could do without.' ... hopefully it's not the latter, that's a different story lol
Then, when you're finally with them again, it's amazing because you don't spend so much time 1. arguing about stupid stuff (not that we did this much anyway) 2. worrying about plans for the future and the need to control.
You're just SO happy to be in their company because you know your time is fleeting.
But isn't that the very thing we should realize with EVERY relationship in our life...?
It is fleeting.
We're put on this earth with a time table, and unfortunately (but also fortunately because that would be strange), we don't know when that time table runs out.
I truly believe in soulmates (plural) -- people that come into your life, throughout the sequence of your life, to show you things about yourself, help you experience or feel things you never have, and help you grow into your best self and who you were created to be.
Here's the thing: we don't know how long that person will be there.
Whether it's your mom, dad, significant other, YOU... we're all on a timetable here.
In a very literal way, I am able to experience this being in Canada this week with Mark.
I know I am leaving on Saturday.
I don't know when I'll get to see him again.
That makes our time together SO much sweeter.
Can't we look at every single person in our lives in this regard?
Think about all the times we simply go through the motions and rush through relationships:
- You don't want to have coffee with your dad because you're 'busy' so you reschedule. He can wait til next week.
- You argue with your significant other because he's not doing something you think he 'should' be doing or acting in a way you like, so you waste hours, days or even weeks holding a grudge against him and letting it fester.
- Weeks go by and you haven't spoken to any of your best friends. You're busy, they're busy... it's OK. There will 'always' be time to catch up at a later date.
I try to live my life by this simple statement:
If not now, when?
If you don't choose LOVE instead of fear NOW... when will you?
If you don't choose to resolve your argument NOW... when will you?
If you don't spend time with those closest with you NOW because you're 'too busy'... when will you?
My hope is that none of these questions are answered:
'when it's too late.'
Realize what's in front of you right now. Let go of your need for controlling/knowing/needing to have everything all figured out. Release all the BS and come back to the only thing that really, genuinely matters at the end of the day:
Love for yourself. Love for life. Love for others.
See ya next week,
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P.S. I want these newsletters to spark a conversation. If you'd like, please reply to this email and let me know if this resonated with you. I always love hearing from you :) <3 xo