"The more you worry, stress, freak out, have anxiety, have panic attacks - the less things actually happen in your favor.
Why? Because you're SO attached to an outcome or an idea of perfection, that you completely give away the power for ANYTHING positive to come into your life."
Hello and good morning!
First things first -- I AM ENGAGED! Mark and I got engaged at Niagara Falls on January 19, 2017 <3
Also, if you're new to my newsletter - welcome :) I appreciate all the love and support I've been receiving. It's not the easiest thing in the world to be super vulnerable and share my personal stories... but I figure it one person walks away with a glimmer of hope and inspiration, my job here is done!
If you missed the last two newsletters, you can read them here and here.
Now onto the juic(ier) stuff!
As you all know, these past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. From moving home, to transitioning jobs, to visiting Canada twice, to getting engaged, to prepping for my contest -- phew!
A few years ago, all this chaos would've been enough to send me into a full-blown, anxiety-ridden, haven't-changed-from-my-sweatpants-or-showered-in-4-days hot mess.
Although I'm still super busy and life ain't slowin' down for no one (and I still enjoy wearing the same sweatpants for 4 days in a row... don't judge), some things have changed: namely, my perspective.
Let me explain...
I get it, I'm busy. You're busy. We're all busy.
And what usually happens when we're busy?
We get super stressed. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Attached to outcomes. Attached to plans going OUR way, and when they don't, we freak out.
I used to be a worry-about-everything-all-the-time person, because I figured the more I worried about something... the more likely it would be to actually happen, right?
Like if I just worry worry worry worry worry that this project will get done, somehow it will ensure that the project gets done.
Or if I worry worry worry worry worry that I'm going to meet someone and how/when/where/why I'm going to meet this person I'm going to spend my life with, they're sure to pop up, right?
Uh huh. Sure.
Vulnerability moment: I used to suffer from crippling anxiety a few years ago. Anxiety that made me not even want to leave my house. Anxiety that caused me to have a panic attack in the middle of downtown St. Pete with my friends. Anxiety that led me to have an eating disorder for two years.
But let me just be really real with y'all, because I know this from experience:
The more you worry, stress, freak out, have anxiety, have panic attacks - the less things actually happen in your favor.
Why? Because you're SO attached to an outcome or an idea of perfection, that you completely give away the power for ANYTHING positive to come into your life.
How the heck do you expect anything happy, positive or joyful to come into your life when your life is cluttered with the opposite: trying to control, manipulate, or worry your way into things working out for you?
And maybe you don't have full blown panic attacks, but you let stress get the best of you sometimes, as we all do. Either way, know this:
The moment you learn to give up control of a situation, is the moment the magic happens.
...and also every moment after that.
It's unrealistic to say you'll wake up one day, give up control over worrying about something, and that stress will never come back. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It will keep coming again, and again, and again... until finally whatever you're worrying about gets sick of pestering you and gives up!
Surrendering is a daily job.
Surrendering means understanding that you can't control everything or everyone around you. It means choosing - in the exact moment you start to feel the anxiety coming on - to take a few deep breaths, let it go, and trust that whatever it is you're worrying about will be taken care of.
Because it has always been taken care of, has it not?
Take a minute to think about a situation you're stressing about... let's say it's a project you need to get done at work.
Has there EVER been a time you've failed to complete a project? Probably not. So why would this time be any different? And even if you have failed to complete a project in the past, this is a totally new situation... you can't judge your current situation based on your past - we all know that's asking for trouble, ha.
Or maybe money is tight this month and you're worrying about how you're going to pay your bills.
Haven't you always been able to manage in some way or another, even when the going gets tough? This time is no different.
I want to share with you a daily practice - in addition to meditation, walking, prayer, coloring (adult coloring books are my jam and help me so much when I'm stressed), and just spending quality alone time with myself with no distractions - that keeps me grounded and my anxiety at bay.
While I love blogs that tell you "5 steps to get rid of anxiety" -- trust me, I've read plenty of them in my life -- I usually end up not doing any of them.
Instead, I'm going to give you ONE thing you can do right now if you're feeling sad, anxious, depressed, nervous, etc.
It's so simple, but it works.
And the best part, you can do it anywhere, at anytime, multiple times, without anyone even noticing.
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath.
3 seconds in. 3 second hold at the top. 3 second release. 3 second hold.
Repeat 3 times.
If you need more, do more. But that should be enough to calm your mind, relax your heart and help you surrender.
Remember, the Universe is on your side.
I am on your side.
Life is working FOR you, not TO you.
P.S. If you're interested, Mark and I are doing a Winter of Gains fitness challenge, starting on February 1. It features customized at-home or gym workouts, meal plan, weekly check ins like I do with my VIP online coaching clients, a Facebook accountability group and more. Find out more details here!
As always, I loveeee hearing from you. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know if you've ever had anxiety or depression... these are issues we all deal with but are "frowned upon" to talk about - which is exactly why I want to talk about them :) <3
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