We're Expecting! Baby Number Two Pregnancy Q&A Part 1
Hey, hi, hello there and welcome back to the blog!
I’m here to share some very exciting news today — we are pregnant with baby number two!
(Side note: Mark hates when people say “we” are pregnant, considering HE is not actually pregnant haha. What are your thoughts?)
I am already 24 weeks and a few days, and time seems to be flying by this time.
The purpose of today’s post is to catch you up to speed until this point, and then I plan to share more content as the pregnancy progresses about my workouts, nutrition, lifestyle changes, mindset, how I’m preparing for birth, etc.
When I announced my pregnancy on Instagram, I asked what you wanted to know more about, and I compiled a list of the most common questions.
Mark & I will also be doing a podcast on the subject (and we all know how fun it is to have him on the pod!) so stay tuned for that as well.
I’m going to try to keep the answers to these questions short and sweet, and if I want to expand on a particular subject or you have more specific questions, feel free to comment on this blog post or DM me on Instagram & I will create a separate blog/podcast for more specific things.
Without further ado, let’s get into the questions!
Pregnancy Number Two Q&A: Part 1
When’s your due date?
We’re due mid-November. Scorpio baby, just like his mama!
Why did you keep the pregnancy a secret for so long?
We had some complications in the first trimester, which I will share in more detail on the podcast. It was quite scary, so I found myself not wanting to tell anyone until ultrasounds confirmed everything was ok. Once we had the full anatomy scan (which I had to do twice, actually), I finally felt comfortable sharing.
Plus, logistically, a ton of people already knew. We didn’t actually intend to keep it a “secret.” For example, we’ve gone to a wedding and I’m showing a lot already so it was pretty obvious. People see me at the gym and can tell I’m pregnant. We’ve hung out with friends and family, who we told pretty early on. So, I guess you could say we kept it to our “inner circle” until now, but I’ve also been dropping hints in my newsletter and blog posts if you’ve been staying up-to-date.
I was joking with Mark that I almost started to feel like one of those celebrities who keeps their bump a secret until the baby comes. At one point, I was like “hey, should we just wait until I give birth and do the surprise of the century?” haha but I genuinely wanted to start sharing my experience with this pregnancy and documenting it. Plus, you all give me the BEST recommendations whenever I ask on Instagram, so it’s nice for me to hear your perspectives, too!
Do you know the baby’s sex yet? What made you want to find out vs. waiting until they’re born
Yes, it’s another boy! For me, I love finding out the sex ahead of time. I totally see the other side of the coin — we don’t get too many opportunities for genuine surprises in our lifetime. Part of me loveees the idea of the baby popping out and us being so shocked to find out what’s been brewing inside me for 9-10 months.
But for me, the more I know about the baby while they’re growing in me, the more it helps me feel connected. It helps me envision what it will be like to hold them, what their personality may be like, and really feel connected when I’m doing meditations.
What’s the age gap between Leo and baby number 2?
2 years and 1 month. Leo was born in October 2020 and this baby is due in November 2022.
How did you choose between a midwife and OBGYN?
This is a great question and one I wish I would get asked more often!
Keep in mind, I currently live in Canada, and things are likely different here than they are in other countries.
I can expand more in the podcast if you’re interested, but long story short: I love the support you get from a midwife BEYOND the birth of the baby. The midwife is there for the birth, obviously. Then, they do about a dozen follow up visits (AT YOUR HOUSE!!!) during the 6 weeks following the birth. During each visit, they check on you AND the baby — they do all the weighing and measuring of babe, answer questions about feeding, make sure you’re doing well mentally and physically, and the best part — you can be in your postpartum diapers & messy bun and they do not care at all!
When I had to have an emergency c-section with Leo, they brought an OBGYN onto my team to perform the c-section, so I had to do a follow-up with her as well, which just included ONE follow-up visit at 6 weeks that was very matter-of-fact and clinical.
As you all know, I’m huge into the mindset and the WHY behind everything I do, so having a midwife has been super helpful for me for both pregnancies to have someone there to answer questions along the way. My midwives have been so responsive during my pregnancy as well, and I’m really happy with the frequency and length of the appointments. I don’t feel rushed at all — they ask me so many questions and they will sit there until ALL my questions are answered, which hasn’t been my experience with most doctors I’ve met.
And yes, they are qualified medical professionals. Had I delivered vaginally with Leo, it would’ve just been me & two midwives in the hospital room (plus Mark). You can also choose to have a home birth or give birth at a birthing center, which they’re supportive of but not pushy AT ALL. I got an epidural about 20 hours into labor with Leo and felt no judgement — which was one of my fears with going with a midwife (will they judge me if I want to give birth at the hospital or get an epidural?).
In my experience, all of my midwives have been so encouraging of my birthing choices and have NEVER been pushy to do things a certain way, which was one of my concerns when deciding if I wanted a midwife to begin with.
All in all, 10/10 recommend my midwife experience!
Are you going to try for a VBAC or opt for another c-section?
This is still on the table, but as I’m heading into my third trimester, I’m leaning 75% towards doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My midwife is completely on board with doing a VBAC because she says I’m a great candidate for one, meaning the reason I had a c-section for my first birth doesn’t necessarily mean I would need to have one again this time.
She mentioned that in my situation, the risks are as follows (from least risky to most): VBAC, scheduled c-section, emergency c-section.
The ONLY thing holding me back from fully committing is the fear that I would try for a VBAC and need an emergency c-section again, which sucked. I would rather skip labor and do a scheduled c-section if that’s the case. BUT I would love the full birthing experience and being present for it all since I was under general anesthesia with Leo and wasn’t conscious for his birth at all.
I’m giving myself a deadline to decide soon because if I’m going to try for a VBAC, I’ll be doing specific things to prepare. For example:
pelvic floor physiotherapy — which I’ll do anyway because it was SO helpful during my first pregnancy and postpartum (I did an IG Live about it in 2020 during my postpartum with Leo if you want to go check it out)
perennial massage like I did while pregnant with Leo and thought I’d give birth vaginally (they physio massages in inside of your vagina to reduce risk of tearing… was a tiny bit awkward but I’m willing to do whatever it takes LOL)
mindset work around feeling confident during the birthing process & overcoming fears about delivering vaginally
Happy to share all that if that’s the route I choose!
If you’ve had a VBAC, can you let me know — how did you choose? How did it go? I’d love to hear from more mamas who’ve been there!
How did you know you were ready to get pregnant again?
As someone who identifies as a highly-sensitive person and deeply intuitive, I just get feelings about things. Thats the best way I know to describe it. There have been a few clear moments in my life where I’ve received what I consider to be “downloads” that don’t come from me, but are just very clear KNOWINGS.
I understand I probably sound crazy if you’ve never experienced this yourself and that’s totally OK haha!
Mark and I had been talking about having another baby and when we would start trying for number two. I considered the fact that just because we started TRYING didn’t necessarily mean we would get pregnant right away, so we decided that based on our ideal timeline, we could start trying and if it took a while, that would be fine.
Literally once we decided that, I was on a solo walk and I got this very distinct message from what I consider to be the soul of my now-son, essentially saying he was ready. I remember exactly where I was and exactly the message and the feeling I got. It was like fully body chills came over me and I just KNEW in that moment that it was time. I took out my phone and recorded the date, time and exact message and I refer back to it often when I’m feeling insecure or having doubts during pregnancy (especially when I thought we lost him early on in the pregnancy). I found out I was pregnant exactly one month later!
I still get really emotional thinking about it, and I feel so connected to his soul already in a way that I can’t really explain through words.
And if you’re curious: the same thing happened with Leo but AFTER I found out I was pregnant. Leo’s pregnancy was kind of a surprise in the sense that we weren’t taking any protective measures because we were ready to get pregnant when the time was right, but it happened way faster than we expected it to. (So grateful for that). The night I found out I was pregnant with Leo, which is the funniest story ever — I found out in the bathroom of Walgreens on my retreat in St. Pete with the women in my yearlong coaching group at the time *listen to that story in this podcast 116: Overcoming Depression & Binge Eating | Client Chats ft. Kindra— I had a download that pretty much assured me that all was well with him and would be for the whole pregnancy.
Soooo yeah… exposing that “woo woo” side of me feels intimate and vulnerable but I’ve only had those intense feelings/downloads a few times in my life about which direction I should take, and two of them happened regarding my kids. Still gives me full body goosebumps to think about.
How did you know you wanted more kids?
Great question! I never saw myself as a “kids” person. I kind of knew I wanted to be a mom from a young age, but it wasn’t the deep, burning desire that I’ve heard a lot of moms experience. I’ve always been very driven and career-oriented, and I didn’t want to lose that by becoming a mother. (Spoiler alert: you don’t have to lose that part of yourself!)
When I set my fears aside — mainly projections from other people about how hard and awful it was, how much you’re going to lose yourself, how you’ll hate your spouse, how you’ll never sleep again, etc. etc. etc. — I realized that I really DID want to raise tiny humans to help them become incredible adults.
It surprised me when Leo was born how naturally maternal I was and how much I love being a mom, because I never anticipated to love it this much.
I’ve thought about doing a podcast about this as well, titled “motherhood doesn’t suck” because I want to spread the positive messages about how great motherhood can be instead of all of the “just waits” and fear mongering that scares people away currently.
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OK, this is getting to be a REALLLLLY long blog post so I’ve decided I’ll break it up into two parts so that I can answer your remaining questions about lifestyle, nutrition, my workouts, and mindset during this pregnancy.
Stay tuned for that one, and feel free to ask me any questions you’d like me to chat about in future blogs/podcasts!